"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
Ahh... those little red shoes. It reminds me of the Dr. Seuss book titled, "The Places You'll Go" These little shoes have been home for 8 days. Eight days that I don't ever want to forget. These eight days feel similar to watching a butterfly try to strengthen its wings in order to emerge from a cocoon and fly on its own.
Lewis is the oldest of our three children to be adopted. He will be three years old next month. Clara will be three years old next month as well. The difference between the two is where their shoes have taken them over these three years. These little red shoes in the past 8 days have seen MANY "firsts". Here are just a few: stairs, (yes, you read that correctly) walking up and down stairs is brand new to our son. If I didn't have his hand my little man would fall down the steps in our home, they have walked on grass, climbed onto furniture, sat at a table for a family meal. These shoes run to brothers and sisters, been scooped up and placed on the shoulders of a Father and have gently been taken off when preparing for a heart exam. I look at the picture of his shoes and the wagon and smile for many reasons. One, his shoes are getting dirty... yay! That means he is going places, doing things, getting into messes and living life. Two, this wagon is packed full. Full of random toys. Toys that now belong to him and his siblings. Lewis's world once consisted of a wooden play pen with only children... no toys. His life centered around a schedule. An institutional life with metal beds, vats of food, assembly line diaper changes and bottle feedings. This wagon symbolizes excitement. Lewis crammed all these toys into this tiny wagon. He looked proudly at me while I clapped my hands. I motioned to pull the wagon but then quickly realized that he had no idea what a wagon was even supposed to do. That is why I say EVERYTHING is his world is new. The simple handle on the wagon brought SO much excitement when he realized it would transport his precious treasures from one room to the other. These shoes bravely sat on top of an examination table. They allowed him to see that people are fighting for him. Fighting for his future. Fighting for his health. These shoes walked into a hospital scared but walked in holding his parent's hands. All of my children are precious. All have been nurtured and loved as a son and a daughter much longer than Lewis. I have seen firsthand how orphanage life can not be compared to that of a family. Minute by minute for the last eight days Lewis is learning something new. From the small things; drinking from a cup to the big things; laying between his parents in order to fall asleep. He is one giant sponge. Every moment. Every word. Every action. All new. We are keeping his world small right now. Lewis gets to call the shots. His brain is working overtime. While he is learning he is growing and that can be tiring. I have recently taken him out these past few days. Little trips with Clara by his side. I take his lead and when I sense his world suddenly begins to feel too big we come back to his safe place... his home. He then kicks off his little red shoes. Runs back to the toys. Look into the eyes of familiar faces and then takes a deep breath. Lewis's shoes have walked more than I can imagine in eight days. I may be a Mother to seven children but this experience has brought me to my knees. He is teaching me more about life right now than I thought could be possible. I look at what a responsibility yet cherished gift we have as his family to show him the world. I remind myself daily to put on his red shoes and see how he must be feeling. Whether it be loud in our home, too dark, too much language that in unfamiliar... I remind myself that this little butterfly is strengthening his wings and is preparing to fly. While we watch this process we keep life slow and safe. Wings are meant to be spread and soar but if they aren't strengthened properly they will never leave the ground. I look forward to sharing him with you all. I look forward to all the relationships that he will form. For today his little red shoes will be tucked close to his family. Hand in hand with his siblings. As for his wagon, it will be chucked full... full of happiness and memories being made!
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
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