"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
"Do you have a family statement that is unique to your family? A statement that if belted out in public would make absolutely no sense to the outside world? Our family has more than a few but this one in particular has stuck and I believe it's pertinent to share it with you all right now...
"Smile, Stick Together And Say Thank You To The Crossing Guard..." This "Kruschek statement" began 15 years ago when saying goodbye to Hattie and Charlie as they would head out the door for school. I can still picture that moment as if it was just yesterday; over sized backpacks on little backs, two eager bodies racing to the front door to begin their three block voyage to school for the day. I can't tell you how the statement began. Maybe it was because one of them "woke up on the wrong side of the bed", maybe one was being pokey and the other didn't want to wait, (insert Charlie) or maybe it was because Dan and I noticed the retired crossing guards at the end of the block that volunteered their time to cross children no matter what the weather. Either way, "Smile, Stick Together And Say Thank You To The Crossing Guard" was birthed and became our daily statement as our two eager beavers would leave for school each morning. I've been quiet for so long about what a toll these months have taken on our nation since this pandemic has begun. I don't share my political beliefs, my medical beliefs or scientific beliefs. I don't share for several reasons and I will most likely continue down this path because it aligns with what Dan and I feel is most appropriate for our family. One area however that I feel comfortable stretching myself is human kindness. Having an opinion about respect or lack of respect is something I don't tend to shy away from speaking out. Two weeks ago our family loaded up and headed to South Dakota to enjoy one of our last family trips before our family begins a new chapter. The timing was not ideal due to the pandemic however in hindsight it was perfect since it allowed us to distance ourselves from others and to focus just on one another. It was beautiful. The sights of the landscape, the terrain of the land, the smiles on my kids faces BUT, I repeat BUT it also came with LOUDNESS, crying outbursts from a 3 year old who didn't want to have one more second in her car seat. It came with multiple stops on the side of desolate roads when a certain boy needed to use the restroom. It also came with tube feedings at crazy times in a bumpy vehicle. Not all areas of our trip were picture perfect which leads me to the picture above... Norah's face speaks volumes. She was hot, tired of being in the van and the sun was "too bright" for her. All the kids and yes, even the adults reached their moments when they reached their limit. The younger kids immediately let you know with their emotions flying out of control and the young adults would show it by slapping on their headphones and even trying to "pretend sleep" so they could vanish under the momentary chaos. Dan and I however were and always are on spotlight with our kids. Whether you want to believe it or not our kids are watching us 24/7. They are looking to us to see how we handle the chaos, the outbursts, the arguing and the loudness. Why? Because we are their teachers. We're their models. We're their instruction manuals on how you play the confusing game of life. Whew, that's pressure! I don't know about you but I like my privacy. I want to have my own emotions but once we have children we have immediate responsibility to teach kindness, respect and yes, even reservation from saying everything and anything you want. It's easy to engage in an argument; holding your tongue is hard. Our kids are watching how often we engage in arguments, stomp our feet when we don't get our way and yell at others when our opinions don't immediately fall inline with the next person. I don't think I am the first parent that has said, "I see so much of me in my child". I look at statements my kids say or slang they use and absolutely know it was learned from me. The good, the bad and even the funny. I am no different from any of you. I get mad. I get short tempered. I don't get nearly enough sleep some weeks which results in less patience. It's all normal. God was even frustrated with his own disciples when they all fell asleep. God knew his time was coming and he prayed in the Garden at Gethsemane only to find his weary disciples sleeping rather than praying for him. God forgives. God gives us a pass when we mess up. God is still giving me a another day to work on myself each day I am gifted another day. I believe our Country is heading down a very steep slope with our children. Human kindness, respect for others and holding our tongues has taken a backseat. It's time we re-evaluate our motives about always trying to "be right". It's time to look at our audience, (our children). If you spill ugliness in front of your children they are learning that spilling is appropriate. I'm pretty sure when you witness your child spill their milk you immediately say, "grab a washcloth and clean it up". It's time as a Country and as parents we start running to the nearest washcloth and begin cleaning up the ugly and criticizing words that is spilling out of OUR mouths on a daily basis. If we want this world to be a "clean" place to live for our children after we leave this earth then it begins with US. The other day I was grocery shopping and got publicly yelled at. I was quite excited about the large ice cream bars in the center cooler that for a brief moment I lost sight of my oddly parked cart. I had my cart parked in the wrong direction. I forgot about the sticker footprints that were on the ground. I made a mistake and faced my cart in the wrong direction. Years ago this would have been seen as an oversight but not now. An older man passed my cart and behind his mask he said, "Ugh, follow the stickers!" I immediately looked up and said, "oh, sorry." His response as he continues walking... "Sure you are, ya big liar!" It was at that moment that I realized we as a Country we have a lot of cleaning up to do. Words spilling everywhere. Judgement spilling everywhere. Opinions spilling everywhere. OUR KIDS ARE WATCHING. If we want them to clean up after themselves then it's time we clean up our acts. I'm grateful for another day. I'm grateful for forgiveness from my children when I am not the role model I should always be. My parents were wonderful role models because they weren't "perfect". They made mistakes and were always willing to share in their mistakes. That's how we learn. It's never to late to begin holding our tongues, asking for forgiveness, allowing a different opinion. It's not too late to clean up our mess because we absolutely owe it to our children. I will leave you with this... "Smile. Stick Together. Say Thank You To The Crossing Guard." Smile at your neighbors, even those who don't align politically with you. Stick Together with this Country. We are ALL enduring hardships and carrying burdens we don't fully understand. Say Thank You To The Crossing Guard... it may not be the older person at the end of the block crossing your child BUT it could be the person who accidentally bagged your groceries wrong or a clerk who seemed "short" with you. Say THANK YOU. It's the nice thing to do. I would imagine you would want that same treatment for your child. Kindness. Acceptance. Forgiveness and Grace. If you have taken the time to read my ramblings, thank you. If you choose to adopt our family statement feel free BUT you must follow them. "Smile", "Stick Together" and say "Thank You to the Crossing Guard." Who knows... a small little movement could begin because of two little children heading off to school 15 years ago. Much Love to you all.
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
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