"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
brave:
ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage. This is what you will find when you look up the word brave in the dictionary. As a child I always wanted to be more brave. Climb the highest peak, ride the fastest rollercoaster, take the challenge to the biggest "dare". To be honest, I was not a brave child. I am terrified of heights, I despise carnival rides that require seatbelts and I used to beg my Dad not to shut the lights off when I would go down into our "cave" of a basement. Being brave was NOT in my dictionary... we were not friends. Fast forward to 1998, the birth of my daughter, Hattie. That is when "brave" went from being a stranger to an aquaintance. I was now a "Mom"... what? I had someone looking to ME to be brave. Whether I liked it or not it was now time to walk the walk and fasten my seatbelt. Next came Charlie... now I needed a bullet proof vest and a padded room. Two children. Two different personalities looking to ME to be their "hero". Well, heroes are only in movies... not in real life, certainly not mine. Two more boys followed Charlie. Four children calling me "Mommy", four children watching my every move, every leap, every step forward. The stakes got higher. The risk was greater. I was now responsible for more little people. The "brave" factor grew with each child and my "safe" little world required more seat belts and bravery than before. Somehow life just carried on. The years continued to pass while muscles were building underneath me that I never knew exhisted. Then came our three adoption. Each one unique in their own ways. Each one requiring more than just a simple seat belt to keep me safe. These experiences were like no other. This made the once scary roller coaster look like merry go round. The highest of peaks suddenly looked like little hills and the dark basement I feared so much, well that was no longer looking so dark anymore. You see, bravery comes when you say yes to being a parent. Yes to being their advocate, even if it is unpopular or "not cool". Being brave is being present and doing things as a parent you never believed you would or could do. Allowing your child to fail even when you see it coming from afar... that is bravery. Bravery comes in so many different forms when you are a parent. Walking into a room full of strangers and introducing your child for the first time as "the new kid", being their voice when you don't feel as if they are being heard, witnessing unfairness, wiping tears, letting go of the reins... all of this... bravery. I write this as a nudge to anyone reading. Look at your children. Look at yourself. You are braver, stronger, and more "hero-like" than you probably give yourself credit for. My brave moments can go from putting my child on the bus for their first day of kindergarten to passing my daughter off to a medical team of doctors to perform a life-saving heart surgery. All brave. All important. All worthy. Don't underestimate yourself or your bravery. Our children are watching us every minute of every day. You don't need to put on that shiny coat of armour... just be you. Just be present. That is enough. I close with a thank you to all my children. As you get older and one day read these posts I hope you always know that YOU are the reason that I take each step near the edge of a cliff. YOU are the reason I close my eyes tight and take a huge leap of faith. YOU are the reason I can now look at a roller coaster and just laugh at it, (okay, not quite but someday). YOU are my coat of armour. I love you for giving me stength and courage I never knew exhisted. Hattie, Charlie, Isaac, Eli, Norah, Clara and Lewis... YOU make me brave. Thank you for that. I love you.
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
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