"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
God has an interesting way of getting my attention. Whether I am in a rush and frazzled or having a quiet moment to myself; he has this beautiful way of reminding me he is near. Two weeks ago was the perfect example of this. First off, I need to give my dear readers some background information. My oldest daughter, Hattie was recently offered an unpaid internship this summer in Israel. She will be working side by side with children who are recovering from heart surgery. I know from the bottom of my heart that this opportunity was God ordained BUT that doesn't mean the thought of her leaving our family and the comforts of everything she knows any easier. Which leads me to my story two weeks ago...
Two weeks ago I was enjoying a beautiful walk with Evelyn. While pushing the stroller Hattie called me from college. Our conversation focused on the "unknowns" of her trip. She explained to me how she was so excited to go but also very nervous since she would be traveling completely alone. I could hear it in her voice that the trek of 6,000 miles seemed scary but exciting at the same time. She said, "Mom, I'm leaving everything I love, everything I know and I'm going by myself to do something I've never done before." At that moment I put on my Mom hat and tried my best to offer up some of my best advice, but really what she needed to hear was it's okay to be scared. I reminded her that some of the most scary times in my life have produced the most greatest blessings. Being scared is okay. Being scared means we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and risk the comforts of our "patterned" life. Being scared means we are putting faith in God and what is unseen rather that what is right in front of us. I could sense our short conversation had shifted from fear to excitement. With a click of a button we were off the phone with one another and I was returning to my seemingly normal walk until I looked down. Once again God did it... he placed his divine sign right in the middle of the sidewalk... a beautiful blue egg. The egg was perfectly cracked and the baby bird that once resided in its comfortable warm home was now on its way to discover the world. The baby bird finally grew strong enough to emerge and risk flying on its own. Success! No bird in sight just a beautiful empty shell. I smiled at the irony of this egg and its empty shell. I knew God placed it in that exact spot for me to see, (he also knows I'm a nut when it comes to signs so picking up the broken egg and bringing it home was something that was pretty much expected). The entire way home from my walk with Evelyn I continued to think about this sweet little egg and the similarities that it shared with that of raising my own children. It meant more than being an "empty nester" or having a child "fly the coop" for me it symbolized the struggle and pure redemption. The struggle that the baby bird feels while poking its tiny little beak out of the hard shell. The commitment and strength it takes to not give up and continue fighting to get out of the shell even if it feels like it won't happen and then the victory of breaking free and the bravery of spreading its wings and choosing that it's time to explore the world. For me life can be compared to a safe little nest. You can build that nest strong and firm but staying in a nest and never breaking free is not living... it's existing. One could say Dan and I are crazy for letting our daughter leave the country alone for two months. One could also say that we are crazy for adding to our family the way we choose to, but my response to both of those comments would be... just like the baby bird needs to trust that they can fly Dan and I need to step out of the way and let Hattie spread her wings. The more Dan and I step out of the patterned way of life the more we continue to fly. God has taken us places we never thought possible and he has blessed us with children we never knew we needed so badly. I can look back now and smile at God's plan many years ago when we said yes to children with complex heart conditions. God knew all along that this would change the lives of our other children in ways I never thought possible. If someone would have told me years ago that Hattie would be traveling to Israel to help children with heart defects I would have laughed. My little girl who always wanted to sell bookmarks or own a pet store is suddenly boarding a plane alone to go share her love with children from a variety of countries. I don't know if this opportunity would have existed had we stayed comfortably in our nest. I am so proud of all of my children. I look at the uniqueness of each of them and I am in awe that God has trusted me enough to be their Mom. Being their Mom also means showing them that being comfortable isn't living. Living happens when there is struggle, pain, uneasiness because through the struggle and the pain comes the victory. I heard something many years ago that I have never forgotten and it feels so symbolic to parenting... Sea turtles build their nests away from the shore. Their nests are buried under the sand so that the seagulls don't see them. Once the baby sea turtles hatch they must then make their difficult trek to the seashore before a hungry seagull scoops them up for dinner. One would think why not help these baby sea turtles by picking them up and carrying them to sea. Wouldn't it be easier and less risky if we just help them ourselves? No. Here is the irony of the story. In order for a baby sea turtle to survive in the rough waters of the ocean they must be physically strong AND in order for that to happen they need to build up the strength by digging out of their buried nest and challenging themselves to scurry to the seashore ON THEIR OWN. It is through that journey that they build their strength to swim and survive in the ocean. While I would love nothing more than to sit next to Hattie and comfort her fears while traveling to Israel I also know that she is strong enough. My little girl who once loved to dress up her stuffed animals and make chestnut stew in the backyard is equipped for this journey to the shore. She has dug herself out of obstacles and ran the race when life didn't always seem fair. This digging and running the race of life has prepared her for her journey to the sea. She will swim! She will board that plane just as a sea turtle enters the waters and she will feel the freedom the sea turtle feels when it realizes that they did it on their own. Just like the bird feels when it spreads its wings and realizes that i'ts strong enough to fly on its own. Redemption! Trust God with your baby birds. He doesn't want us to stay in the nest and play it safe nor does he want us to scoop them up and carry them through life. Live life by taking risks and believing in yourself and your children. The world is waiting for YOU, don't you wait for the world.
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
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