"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
That is what went through my mind when I saw my son for the first time... "he is such a little gentleman" The polo shirt so neatly tucked in, collar perfectly flattened and all three buttons buttoned up to his neck.
I sent Dan this picture while I was in China... the picture that made my heart skip a beat, the moment he smiled at me for the very first time. Funny how this picture gave Dan the same feeling... "a little gentleman". Well, I am happy to say that our "Gentleman" has an official name! We are pleased to announce Lewis Grant Kruschek to all of you. The meaning behind this name truly makes me smile with delight and smirk at how God had this name picked in advance and was waiting for just the right moment to turn on the lightbulb in our heads. Dan chose Lewis from the moment he saw his face. He couldn't stop saying the name. I love it because it reminds me of our wedding song, "What A Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong. Even though the spelling is different the meaning behind the name is perfect. The middle name is where my Dad comes into play. Even though it has been 3.5 years since my Dad passed, he still seems to get the last word. This past weekend I had the chance to be with my dear friends from high school. This allowed me to revisit some old childhood favorite spots before coming back to Madison. One of my most favorite memories was with my Dad. Just him and I, completely alone, during the school week... just us, (yes, playing hooky). My Dad would back the blue Buick into a a parking stall and point the car towards the shores of Lake Michigan. He would explain how the waves would push in loads of rocks onto the shore. These rocks would get tossed, pushed, and battered. Some rocks would go back out to sea while others would lay upon the sand. Those were the rocks he called, "worry rocks". The waves had pushed them around so much that overtime they had become as smooth as silk. "The smoother the better!" he would say. With my Dad's help we would find the perfect rock and he would promise me that if I rubbed it long enough it would take all my worries away. Each trip to the shores of Lake Michigan I would take only a few hand selected stones. I am proud to say that I have the original stone in my top dresser drawer from our very first trip when I was 10 years old. As I grew older, got married and started a family my Dad would tell me that we should start a business selling these stones. To know my Dad you would know that he was an entrepreneur at heart so this would be a win-win for him! Make some money, get to brag how it was his idea and leave a really neat story behind when he was no longer here. Well Dad, I am not starting a business selling worry stones and I am not letting my kids skip school to drive to Lake Michigan for the perfect worry rock BUT last weekend while walking along the exact spot that you and I did a number of times I could feel your presence. I felt young again, I could picture the blue Buick parked feet away. I instantly knew his middle name... Grant. Where your legacy lives, Grant Park. That is the park that led us to our favorite spot on the shores of Lake Michigan. That is where I feel your presence every time I walk along that section of shore. That is where I go to remember you. That is the middle name of my son. Every time I say his full name, Lewis Grant Kruschek I will think of you and I will smile because you will forever live on. This is why it is so important to remind yourself that great memories don't always entail extravagant detail but rather who you spend those moments with. My most treasured memory with my Dad was free. A handful of smooth rocks. Don't miss out friends on the simplest moments in life with your children because one day they may become a memory that could possibly become priceless.
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As many of you know Clara had a seizure the day before I was due to leave for my China trip last April. Many said, "she didn't want you to go." The consensus was that she needed me home with her longer. Many people were relieved that I didn't step on the plane, telling me that, "I had already done enough and I should just focus my attention on my own family." While I appreciated the concern from others deep down I asked myself, "why would God put a stop on something that was to only bring glory and attention to what he teaches and preaches in the bible, "Caring for orphans in widows in their distress". This statement has been ingrained into my mind since I was a young child watching advertisements on tv about helping the starving in Ethiopia. Why was I stopped dead in my tracks the day before my departure to help children within Clara's orphanage? Why would God put a stop to me helping other children find their forever families?
NOW I know why. Now I see the big picture. Now I realize how God's ways are always better if you let him sit in the driver's seat. Now I see how he really did know my desires even before I knew them myself. Now I see how much faith he had in my husband, my children and myself. Are you ready? My first trip advocacy trip back in April was going to take me back to Clara's orphanage. I would visit it exclusively. When that did not happen I prayed that another trip would become available. The months carried on until July, that's when I received and email stating that there would be another trip. I immediately jumped on board! The date was set for October 15th-21st. I would visit Clara's orphanage. Perfect! Dan and I immediately started planning things at home. He would take vacation, cancel all travel and stay home with all the kids and my Mom. It all seemed to fall nicely into place... ahh nope! Three weeks before I would be leaving we had another change! Our agency said we would have to leave a week prior and add on another orphanage. This seemed impossible since Dan's travel schedule is something we don't mess with. I immediately thought my dream of going would be stopped again. Well, again God surprised us and showed Dan and I that is was possible. I quickly started looking at a new orphanage, new files of children and new possibilities for homes for more children. The one part of the story that I didn't know was that our little boy would be in this orphanage waiting for me, his Father and his siblings. You see, had I gone on that trip back in April I would never have seen his file. In fact, his file wasn't even written up at that time. It was as if our little boy didn't even exist from an adoption standpoint. He didn't have papers, didn't have a picture on the waiting child list, nothing. It wasn't until I clicked on his picture and read his diagnosis that I saw the big picture. I saw my son. I saw how a delay doesn't always mean a denial. Meet our son. He and Clara were born five days apart from one another. They have the same CHD (Complex Heart Disease), they both were born with single ventricles. They both have had an open heart surgery, (Clara's was at home last year and his was in China last year). They both will have another surgery when they are around three years of age. This my friend is no accident. He was intended for our family all along. God knew that I wasn't to go back in April because Clara's "twin" was waiting for us. They both were born in different provinces, cared for in different orphanages but destined for the same family. Only God can do this. All we did was say yes and thank you for allowing us to see another miracle unfold in our family. The million dollar question that people always ask me is, "are they cured" My answer is always, no. It is likely that they are looking at a heart transplant when they are in the late 20s but I would be a millionaire if I could see the future for all of our children. Life isn't about living for the future. Life is about loving right now. Giving right now and accepting each life right now. Man, the memories we would have missed out on if we would have said "no" to Clara. Our family is not willing to let our son sit in China so we can play it safe and not worry about the future. On the eve of Clara's "gotcha day", (popular term for adoptive families when they meet their child for the first time). I want to say thank you to Clara. Her seizure allowed us to find her long lost twin. This my friend is nothing but another miracle. You can't expect God to perform them if you aren't willing to get out of the boat. I hope and pray that more families would test their faith. Rock the ship. Enter deep waters. This is where you will find God... ALWAYS! |
AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
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