"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
Broken things can become blessed thing? Really? That is NOT what I was feeling on the afternoon of April 20th when my phone rang. That was the moment that our adoption journey took a huge turn and landed us in the valley. On April 20th I received a call from our agency saying that their was a "glitch" in the system and our son's file had been viewed by another adoptive family from another agency. This family didn't know that we were already moving forward with his adoption and they began the process of locking his file in as well. To our disappointment there was nothing we could do, (nor would we do) to try to dispute this since they were already further along in the miles and miles of paperwork that would ultimately bring this medically fragile child home to a family faster. In my heart at that moment I knew he was not our son. I knew God had a different plan and I knew God was once again testing our faithfulness to trust. Believe. And be still. Three words that were SO HARD at the moment of sadness.
I shed buckets of tears that weekend. I asked God over and over, why? We envisioned this little boy in our family. I could look in my rear view mirror and picture his car seat tucked next to one of the older kids. My kids loved the idea of another brother. His face was on our refrigerator; his picture was being hauled around in a little plastic wagon by a very proud three year old. He was included into our prayer intentions and we were running to him by making doctor appointments, home study visits and background checks. This all came to a halt by that one phone call. Adoption has never been an easy road. Each adoption has had its own set of challenges and usually those challenges present themselves at the initial stage of saying yes to adopting. God does test our faithfulness BUT also the enemy loves to make us question if we are truly called to adopt. The enemy would love nothing more than to see families turn away from the beauty of adoption. That is why my husband and his great wisdom looked me square in the eyes and said, "We keep moving forward; now two children will have families and not just one." Selfless love and pure wisdom. I knew at that moment it was time to swallow my pain and trust that God's plan was bigger than I could imagine. That is when I privately said to God, "prove it!" ... AND HE DID!!!! I have asked God to "prove it" before. Two years ago on April 20th, (yes, the exact same date we received this phone call) Clara had a seizure. Thankfully she recovered beautifully but I was unable to leave for my advocacy trip the very next day. I was devastated. The ticket was purchased, my bag was packed and I was ready to help be a part of a trip that would help bring children home to forever families. It was halted just like the adoption of this little boy. Two years ago I asked God why. I wondered why he would stop a trip like this. He said trust and I said, "prove it!" Well, he did. My trip was delayed six months and my list of children changed for my advocacy trip. My new list contained our dear sweet Lewis. God proved it!! Well, God proved to me again that blessings truly do come when we are in the valley!! God proved himself big time. A few weeks ago I received a text in the evening from my agency asking me if I could "chat". I immediately sent my husband a text. He was seconds away from boarding a plane. I called my social worker and she said the most beautiful sentence, "I have a file of a little girl that I think you should take a look at." My jaw dropped and I did what any Mom of multiple children would do... I hid in the bathroom and listened while she talked. I asked one of my favorite questions when adopting... not how grave their needs are but rather when is their birthday. Yup, God proved it again. January 12th... Norah's birthday. These two girls will forever share the same birthdays. For some children this might not seem like a gift but for my daughter Norah it is a HUGE gift. Norah mentioned to me weeks prior that she was hoping to have a sister, a baby she could take care of. She said, "Mom, Hattie has Charlie. Isaac has Eli. Clara has Lewis. She said that she wanted Clara to be a baby again but that would never happen. Well, once again God's ways are far bigger and better than I could imagine since he not only gave her a younger sister but he gave them the same birthday! After briefly discussing her file and sifting through the medical buzz words I instantly thought of my husband who was moments away from boarding a plane. We agreed she would send me her file, her picture and a short video after hanging up. While hiding in the bathroom and my heart beating out of my chest I sent a quick text to my husband saying, "it's a girl!" His response... "Hurry! Boarded for Madison! Send info!" "Can't open pics yet." "I'm in." "100%" Four simple texts. That's it. She was our daughter from that moment. God proved it! The valley while it is low does have blessings. We don't grow in the mountain tops where we can see everything. We grow in the times when we are low and we cling to hope. Hope in God and his faithfulness that can make everything beautiful again. Our little girl has an imperfect heart and a sweet little ear that needs some attention. We are running to her and not letting anything stand in our way. We know that God has intended her for our family all along and we are SO grateful we get to walk through life with her. Please be praying bold prayers for her health. We will be sharing pictures soon but until that time we will call her by name... it is my honor to welcome Evelyn Li Kruschek into our family! Evelyn meaning life and Li (Chinese name) meaning powerful, beautiful. We couldn't imagine a more appropriate name for this fierce heart warrior!!
2 Comments
|
AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
|