"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
Years of clicking on a keyboard and unleashing my feelings into cyberspace has led me to this point... "The Invitation". I have been invited to co-write in an upcoming book along with other authors who share their very personal stories ranging from grief, suicide, obesity, mental health issues to working in healthcare during a pandemic. To say that I feel honored would be an understatement.
I've been writing for years. Many of you who are currently reading this have been along for the ride with me. My writings have primarily focused on my family and my faith. I decided to begin writing because I was beginning to see a trend with how God would push me and because of that nudging, beautiful doors would open. I guess you could say that I put on a pair of rose-colored glasses and thought that if I were obedient God would reward BUT that quickly didn't become the situation. I quickly realized that with every "invitation" came an uphill, swim against the current type of effect, (mission trips, moving my parents into our home, adoptions, moving to the country and multiple family deaths) have been invitations that my husband and I accepted not knowing the outcome. Some have viewed these past invitations as risky which is why some of those relationships have been challenging and distant. However, it is through the uphill walk with my husband that we get breaks in the trek to see how God continues to encourage us along the way. I've learned that walking the narrow road with God is scary because he is not satisfied with sideline opinions, he wants you in the game. The moment you say, "yes" to the game he begins his teachable moments to make sure that you are in it for the right reason. Does God reward for doing his will? Yes. Does God promise that everything he does is going to make us happy? No. Does he promise that he will never leave us during those difficult moments? Absolutely. God has woven this upcoming book into an invitation that my husband and I accepted in May of 2019. That invitation came in the form of a phone call asking us if we would be interested in looking at a file of a sick little girl living in China, our daughter Evelyn Li. I never imagined that accepting that particular invitation would be the moment that would have me begging for more time with my daughter. I can see clearly; even through the dark lenses of grief that God knew our "yes" would be the biggest hurt of our lives. It doesn't make sense to many people why I still have my faith. I have had an uphill battle with some relationships since the death of my daughter that should be so easy. I am choosing to stay close to faith and hold on tight to what he continues to teach me through the pain. I have learned to "take cover" when I accept an invitation from God. It seems that the bigger the invitation the larger the risk of hurting. Here is brief summary of "take cover moments"... I said yes to a mission trip and my Mom broke her hip the day before leaving. I said yes to going to China on an advocacy trip and Clara had a seizure two days before. Arriving home from Korea with Norah and finding out at the airport that my Dad was on the phone with an oncologist telling him that he only had three months to live. Moving my aging parents into our home but then losing family relationships. Adopting complex medical children then planning Evelyn's funeral. Last month I accepted the invitation to co-author a book, You Can You Will. Last week I found myself at the hospital for a freak accident resulting in a boot cast. While I was being fitted for the boot I knew that God was reminding me that he has big plans for this book and the future of our family. I have chosen to accept this invitation to share my chapter titled, My Tiny Teacher. Evelyn accepted the biggest invitation of her life... to use herself as a light to bring people to their faith, bring hope to the hopeless and to love as if it is your last day. Evelyn said yes and now I am saying yes to what lies ahead with the opportunities and doors that will open. I am still "taking cover" BUT I am not afraid of saying yes because God is reminding me that he is here and will walk side by side with me, (limping and all). You Can, You Will is God's way of telling me to stay on the path and keep swimming against the current. I'm grateful that God has given me the ability to write and purge. I don't write this in the hopes that you will order a book but rather that you accept God's invitation to be used in a way that shines your light. This book is about people who have been used in spectacular ways and have accepted their own personal invitations to be used. My prayer is that this book is an encouragement to many. I promised Evelyn at her funeral that I would make her proud and that I would not let her death define me. Her life, while it was much too short spoke volumes to SO many people. May we all live like Evelyn and be used in the biggest of ways!
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
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