"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
Having trained for marathons in the past I know all too well how my body feels when I get to that 20 mile mark. My legs are tired. My mind is playing tricks on me. I'm thirsty, hungry and dreaming of the finish line. While training for marathons I never let a run get past 20 miles. I save the remaining 6 miles for the day of the marathon. Pure adrenaline and mind over matter gets me to that finish line. However, mile 20 always is that mile that I want to either throw in the towel, take a walk break or hear an encouraging word on the sidelines. Once I am beyond 20 miles though I have my running legs back and I am ready to finish the race and hug those that love me at the finish line.
I was at mile 20 yesterday. In fact I have been at mile 20 for that last few days. This marathon is our current adoption journey. I am missing my family. My husband, my two sons and my Mother-n-law. I am tired of watching them through a screen. I am staying up late to get a little glimpse of them on Face Time and I am rising early with a sweet 2 year old daughter who has decided to become potty trained. This has been hard but the hard truly hit yesterday. Yesterday a "friend" of Dan's decided it was appropriate to hurt our family with his words. Yesterday a person at a place I workout felt it was okay to label my daughter as "one of those". This woman sees me working out everyday but has never seen my children. Yesterday she saw me walking up the steps and said, "Oh she is SO cute, I didn't know you had one of those". Moments later another individual who I also see on a daily basis said, "Your'e such a nice person but you do know you can't change the world" followed up by, "I knew when you went to China in October you would come back with 'one'." Three incidences... THREE in one day. One day! The day I was at mile 20 of my own personal race!! Didn't they see I was running a race? Couldn't they see I needed encouragement? I needed to get to my water station and refuel for the rest of my race, but instead they tripped me and watched me get hurt as I stumbled to the ground. I have since dusted myself off the ground. I bandaged the wound with the love of friends and some of my family. I refueled myself with more pictures and videos of China and I have privately let those three individuals know how their words are hurtful. The two individuals from my workout facility was all about educating and bridging the gap with knowledge. The third individual, well, let's just say he knows exactly where I stand which leads me to my point... "The bully on the playground"... we have all seen them. We have all witnessed it. It wasn't until I was an adult that I approached a bully. This bully wasn't a child on a playground though. It was an adult that should have known better. People came up to me privately and thanked me for speaking up. Several people said, "we all saw it and know that this is just who that person is." "It's not right, but that person is just unhappy." Well, yes I know they are unhappy but it needs to be addressed because their unhappiness spreads like a wildfire and will cause more unhappiness. That encounter years ago has changed me. Changed the way I approach situations. I won't take a backseat to hurtful words. I am grateful to that encounter years ago. I learned that fear is just fear and bitterness stems from unhappiness. Last night the bully on the playground tried to get to me. People saw it and guess what? People spoke up. People spoke out. People didn't hide in fear because, "that is just who he is." People saw hurtfulness and SHUT HIM DOWN. The bully was taken off the playground and asked to never return. Our game no longer included him. He crossed the line and was asked to leave. Once he was gone the game resumed and actually has become more fun. I see the people who now have decided to join the game and know that they are there for a reason. They know we play fair. We include anyone who wants to play and we won't stand for anything that hurts anyone in the game. I am the first person to forgive. I will not forget but I will forgive. I have forgiven in the past. I have even waited for an apology that I will most likely never get but guess what? I'm afraid it is bothering that person more than it is bothering me. Bitterness is a nasty disease. It eats you from the inside out. I won't harbor any anger towards this person. In fact, last night... I prayed for him. I prayed for his hardened heart. I prayed that he would lay his head down on his pillow and he would search himself. I prayed that he would one day look back and see this moment was the changing day that he said, "no more anger". Until that time comes please do not stand by and watch the bully on the playground. Take a stand. Speak with words of conviction but don't lash out because then you are only learning from the bully himself. Be the person who gets the bully off the playground until they can play nice. Here is the hard part though... invite them back if you see that they have changed and they are ready to play fair. Forgiveness is a hard word. It involves work on our part. It means we have to swallow our pain. They may not deserve it BUT YOU DO. Don't let anger consume you. In the end you lose and they win. As far as my marathon is concerned... I am currently at mile 21. I have my running legs back... yay! I am rehydrated and the sidelines... well, they are packed with people cheering me on. They have my best interest in mind. They will help push me to that finish line because when I hit mile 26 oh baby, the celebration is going to be B-I-G! My finish line is on Thursday, March 30th at 2:00pm at Dane County Airport. I will be smiling from ear to ear knowing that our family finished the race together. We did it! Lewis will begin his life with his entire family on that day! Success! To those who are cheering us on... I love you. To those who are standing on the sidelines wanting to cheer but afraid for whatever reason... it's okay. I know you are there. I see you watching. I know you care but for whatever reason you don't want to cheer. It's okay. I hope someday you will find the courage to raise your sign and cheer someone on. You deserve it... it is SO wonderful! I leave you with pictures of people on my playground. Thank you for standing behind us and the game we have chosen to play. We love you for joining us in this wonderful game of life!! Our game... it wins EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
3 Comments
katie
3/23/2017 01:20:59 pm
mommaroo! i love you and you are strong. I am teaching tate all about forgiveness right now..he was bullied at school last week and we are working on how to grow from it! people suck sometimes and we have to be the bigger person alot more than necessary, but it makes us who we are and makes us a special breed of folks. i love you! soon enough your family will all be home!
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Nicki Tremain-Woodcock
3/24/2017 04:33:46 am
Annette I can understand where you are coming from. I grew up my whole life being ridiculed and bullied not only at school, but at home too. It's sad when a person is so sad and bitter that the only thing they can do is try to make others feel as low as he does by spreading their ugliness and hate. I remember when Lon was a baby and people would come running up to his stroller some people would be nervy enough to say "Oh he is so cute...where did you get him?" I was always so stunned when people would ask me that, that I could barely sputter out that he was my natural son. People are going to be like that and I can honestly say yes forgive them....but don't forget, because if they are capable of hurting you once, they'll do it again. Unfortunately that person is arrogant bordering on bitter. Move on and enjoy Lewis, he is such a special boy and you guys are a special family. I feel honored to be friends with such a loving and caring family. I would love to come over sometime and meet your entire family. Well I've rambled on enough, but I wanted to offer a shoulder to cry on if you ever need it and let you know I love you and your family very much. I'll be thinking of you guys on the 30th. Much love to you all, love Nicki
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Brett Butler
8/25/2017 11:59:11 pm
Dear Annette,
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
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