"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
Yes, you read that correctly... my friend you see next to me in this picture is dying. Once again God brought another human into my life when I least expected it. Once again God brought another person into my life that I will have to say goodbye to. I've become a good student in God's classroom over the years. His lessons are tough to accept but to ignore his lessons would be to limit my life of friendships like this one.
My friend, who will remain nameless, (yes, I know his face is now plastered over social media) but to know him, fully know him the way I do, you need to get into his circle to learn his name. I only hope after reading this you will see "different" people as an invitation to open your heart, ears and eyes into a relationship that is waiting to happen. Our friendship began last year in our sweet small town. Dan and I decided to do something we had never done in all of our years of parenting... we dropped the kids off at school and invited each other to coffee at a local cafe. With excitement I walked into the cafe and bellied up to the vintage counter for a cozy spot with my main man and a cup of warm brew. Well, I didn't even get the creamer in my coffee before a man started small talk with Dan. I know about small talk so I thought it would be over relatively quick but to know this man I have learned that nothing is small or even short. Their conversation continued through two cups of coffee. Something happened to me though, as we were getting up to leave this perfect stranger said something to me that I'll never forget. "I can see you have a beautiful soul". I could have thought he was just flattering me because he stole my breakfast date but something unexplainable happened and here we are over a year later... cherished friends. My friend has lived a life that many would judge as horrible; whether it's decisions he has made, addictions he has had, relationships that have been damaged, promises that have been broken or a body that no longer wants to cooperate with him. I however want to highlight the friend I know. His story is his to share but what I can share is that he has had to triumph over his own crosses. He has had to come to terms with his past decisions. He has had to make the decision to trust people even when his brain wants to attack him and not trust himself. God put two people in a cafe that day that needed one another more than they realized. My friend is SO wise. He can see inside a heart as if it's wide open. He can read me like an open book. Dan and I both believe that our coffee date wasn't necessarily met for the two of us. God placed this gem of a friend next to us so that one day he would be sitting at our Thanksgiving table. I remember inviting him to Thanksgiving last year after only knowing him for a few short weeks. My kids have learned that there is always an open seat at our table. Traditions are meant to be broken because there is always a gift waiting when you open yourself up to change. My friend got to be around family, he got to see an intense game of spoons being played and he got to see that family doesn't always have to have the same bloodline. God being God has been reminding me that my time with him is limited. The mystery of God's lesson is this... time. How much? Once again, I am in a position of not knowing when the last time will be I have coffee with him in "our special booth". When will be the last time I hear him say, "10-4, 10-4". I find that I save his voicemails because one day his voice will be a memory. We have had hard conversations before. I've realized over this past year that it has taken him a lot of reassurance that I am truly his friend. He has had to put trust into me and our relationship. In turn I have trusted him with my tears, my fears and the loss that I've experienced in my life. What I am trying to tell everyone who is reading this today... we are ALL broken. Don't judge the next person you meet just because they look different, act different, are a different religion, from a different country, have a different past... WE ALL ARE BROKEN PEOPLE. I can tell you something we all do very well... we ALL make mistakes. Mistakes can be a beautiful thing because you can learn from them and move forward in a different way. I was invited to attend an AA meeting this past June. My friend was being presented with a pin for 35 years of sobriety. This friend of mine has lost all of his family and his children no longer speak to him. I was honored to be invited to sit and hear his speech of sobriety. I looked around the room that day and saw "family". It is no accident that God chose me as a mother to three children with medical complexities, labeling them as palliative; just as it was no accident that I met a man at a diner who told me recently that he doesn't have long to live. We've had those hard conversations. No stone is left uncovered. I bought this friend of mine a windchime months ago. We've decided that when his time finally comes, and he leaves this world I will go to his apartment and retrieve that windchime. My backyard is where I feel Evelyn, my parents and my brother. My backyard will now have space for my special friend and his windchime will make music with the rest of my loves. As you belly up to the Thanksgiving table this year look around who will be joining you. Don't just go through the motions. Don't grit and "fake smile" your way through it. A table is meant to be shared. Share it well. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
1 Comment
4/22/2024 07:03:50 am
You maaay think my name's funny...
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
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