"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
.As a small child I remember my parents telling me, "don't tell what you wish for when blowing out your candles or it won't come true." Well, today I am telling you ALL my three wishes for my little gentleman as he prepares to blow out his candles today. I'm telling you because I believe in the power of numbers. I believe in the power of prayer and I believe that if I share my wishes they will come true.
Tonight as we light his candles and we sing to him; as he takes his breath to blow out his candles I will be saying a prayer for his birthparents. My first wish will be that his birthparents will somehow find peace with their decision that they had to make when Lewis was only a few months old. The decision to say goodbye to a child that was too ill for them to care for. A child that would need surgeries that they unfortunately could not afford, a child that they had hopes and dream of raising. A child that they loved. They did not "give up" this sweet boy. The term "give up" means to stop hoping for a good outcome. This could not be further from the truth. They did the exact opposite. The good outcome for Lewis's complex heart condition meant not one surgery but rather three. Three surgeries which needed to be paid in cash in order to perform. This is why so many special needs children are orphaned in China. They aren't "giving up" on their child they are thinking more about their child than themselves and that is selfless. That is love. I'm sad to think that another woman is walking around with an empty heart while mine is so full. My second wish is that your imperfect heart will not stop you from living the perfect life you were meant to live. You are SO much more than a diagnosis. I pray your scar becomes your badge of honor and you wear it proudly. Your heart condition while it is scary, I don't want it to define YOU. Sure, you will most likely never compete in sports. You will be advised to stick to "playing it safe" with regards to your condition. That is wise and sound advice but it will not stop you from offering a helping hand to the needy, making friends with the lonesome, pursuing your dreams. I want you to MAKE YOUR MARK in this world. I want you to be the reason that "special needs" is so special. I want you to be the reason that others choose to adopt. I want you to turn your scar into a star and shoot for it! My final wish. The hardest of wishes for me and one I hesitated about putting out into cyber space is this... I wish for you to have a very long life. This wish has two parts though. The other part is to "surrender" to whatever may lie ahead. I am not in control; none of us are in control of our future. We may think we are but I assure you, the moment you open your eyes and drop your feet to the side of your bed God is leading the way. Does this mean that I keep my feet in concrete afraid to move out of fear? No way. It means that I equip myself as a Mother and give my two heart children the best possible chance at a full and productive life. I want to grow old with my babies. I want them to have the experiences that I have been blessed to have with my parents. Years of happiness. Years of memories. Years of accomplishments. We are 42 days away from heart surgery. Only six short weeks. It takes my breath away at times. This is the surrender part that I need to continue to get good at. God blessed Dan and I with not one but two children with heart conditions labeled at "palliative care". I do not for one moment take this lightly. It sits in the back of my mind like an unwanted visitor but then I remind myself that the story is too beautiful. Look at the chapters we have written. This is what defines Clara and Lewis not their diagnosis. I wish for more time. Simple enough. Go ahead my sweet boy... take in the sounds of the beautiful birthday song. Look around the table and smile because it is all for you. Your Mom will proudly be smiling, I will be wishing. I will be praying. I will be holding on to the faith that has gotten us here. I will be by your side Every. Step. Of. The. Way! Happy 3rd Birthday Lewis Grant!!! You are loved by so many!
1 Comment
Mary price
5/24/2017 01:18:38 pm
The power of prayer will be answered Good luck in July will be praying
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
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