"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
314 days. 314 days this little one has requested, (okay demanded) to have his parents by his side to help him drift off to sleep. 314 days that he found safety, security and reassurance in my bed. My bed, the bed I have only shared with my husband. Of all my seven children he is the only one who "upset the apple cart" by throwing Dan and I into unchartered waters by sharing our beloved bed.
I'll be perfectly honest, there were many days that laying down next to him wasn't convenient. The days or weeks that Dan traveled was a balancing act of sorts. The typical evening went like this... baths, jammies, head to Clara and Norah's room to be greeted by a "must read" book from Norah; put girls to bed. Then I would remind the older boys if I wasn't downstairs by the time their bedtime approached they would walk themselves up, say their prayers and head to bed. Finally, I would hop aboard my bed with my new bunkmate and I would "pretend" to sleep while he played with my eyebrows, recited the alphabet and grabbed my arm multiple times to feel that I was in fact still by his side. Some nights I would come down and perform my "happy dance" for the boys since it only took a mere twenty minutes, but other nights when it involved more than an hour of laying with him I would come downstairs to see that the boys had independently put themselves to bed. Naps and bedtime... a body next to him for 314 days. We never waivered. My husband and I would tag team and some nights my husband would just say goodnight to me since he knew once he was snuggled next to this warm soul there was no way he would be able to tear himself out of the warm bed. The past couple of weeks is a new chapter. A new beginning. A new layer of trust that has sprouted. Lewis is now in his own bed... yay! While I am thrilled to be able to say prayers, dish out a kiss and a hug and simply walk out of my room; it is about the BIG picture. The trust. The security. The knowledge he has. Lewis knows we are his forever. We will be there when he wakes. A beloved snack will be waiting for him, (his love language is food) when he wakes. Food and family. Both of these things he can count on the moment his little eyes open from his slumber. It is a beautiful thing seeing such progress. A three year old little boy who had spent 34 months in a metal crib with no Mom or Dad to kiss him goodnight has learned something that is priceless. He has learned what love is. This brings me to my teaching opportunity. I love the ability to learn new things in the most unexpected ways. These 314 days has taught me something about patience. We all have it. How are we using it? Are we using it? God never makes mistakes. He took my busy schedule, a traveling husband and a aging Mother who has needs and he told me to be still. Lay next to the one who needs it. Prioritize the needs and fill the tank that has never been filled with the four letter word... L-O-V-E. Our lives are too much about immediate gratification. If we can't have it fast then we tend to move on to the next thing because the thought of waiting seems too difficult. We ask "Alexa" to answer our questions, Amazon to promise us overnight shipping, relationships to always be solid and dreams to come true today... not tomorrow. Happiness comes from patience, hard work and the belief that God is teaching you, perfecting you while you display your patience. I am not suggesting that ordering a beloved pair of running shoes is necessarily bad to have them arrive on your doorstep, (insert guilty confession) but I am saying that the moments in our lives when things seem too hard, too long, too tiring, too unnerving are the exact moments God is giving us wisdom and building our character. I have been a Mother for 19 years and these 314 days of patience and waiting has taught me more about building a relationship of trust versus a relationship of guidance. For 19 years I have been guiding, explaining, teaching.... words. words. and more words. This little boy taught me that he didn't need guidance at this moment in his life; he needed patience, he needed a promise by our faithfulness of being next to him each day. This new chapter is about learning and growing but we couldn't have gotten to this point had we skipped that patience chapter. I am beyond grateful that a little boy taught me something I hadn't mastered with my other kids. His smile and happiness is a testimony "all good things comes to those who wait". What are you too impatient to wait for so you continue to rush it along to only find chaos meet you at every step of the way? What isn't happening in your life that you want right now? If you really want it then be patient. Put in the hard work, the inconvenience, the unknown of what tomorrow may look like and deal with it today. Tomorrow will be there waiting for you. Tomorrow could be the day of happiness if you put in the patience today. What do you have to lose? Yes, maybe not getting that package tomorrow or not having that warm Starbucks coffee waiting for you because you decided not to click on the app for pre-order. Stop rushing and look at the big picture of what you want. Work towards it and be amazed when you finally see it happen in your life. This life is full of delays and disappointments BUT it is also guided by a God who is much wiser than us and can lead us down the path of fulfillment if we are patient. Thank you Lewis for taking the time to teach me a lesson. A lesson that wasn't learned overnight but rather 314 days. Those days will forever be treasured in my heart. You are loved little one. Thank you for allowing me to pass on the gift to others. I hope you choose to seize the day today and make it better than yesterday. Never stop believing in yourself and your ability to put hard work into something that seems too difficult. The pay offs are huge... these little toes are proof!
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
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