"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
I'm a saver at heart. I try my best to donate but often times when it comes to my kids and their baby clothes I fail miserably. All of my kids have "special boxes" that they get to look at when they turn 18. Random artwork, favorite "lovies", and of course favorite clothes make their way into the special boxes. A couple of weeks ago I found myself organizing these boxes in the basement. I got curious as to what was in Hattie's box and began taking a walk down memory lane. Her box had her favorite doll named, Edna along with her homemade blankie made by her Great Grandma Esther sitting at the top. I'm sure many of you can relate when I say, "it feels like just yesterday" that these items were used. It wasn't until I pulled the blanket away did I see the overalls staring back at me. These weren't just any ordinary pair of overalls, oh no! These overalls were given as a gift when Hattie was born. I vividly remember opening the gift and thinking to myself, "wow, it's going to take a long time before she can fit into these." Well, it took Hattie 16 months before she could finally wear them. When putting them on her 19 years ago I remember thinking, what a "big girl" she was and how much she had grown in a mere 16 months. I also remember one of the last times Hattie ever wore those overalls; they no longer could be adjusted to fit and I was sad that it was time to say goodbye to the faithful faded overalls. Needless to say, the overalls definitely made the cut for going in the "special box".
19 years has passed since the overalls were worn... that was until TODAY! I was like a giddy school girl when I pulled them out of Hattie's special box. I knew in my heart God was teaching me a lesson and wanted me to purposely stumble across these overalls a couple of weeks ago. The pictures above makes me giggle. Hattie at 16 months old and Evelyn at 34 months old. Sisters. The oldest and the youngest sharing the same 20 year old overalls. Beautiful. Here is the lesson I learned. I think back to that 25 year old Mom. The Mom who used to worry if her firstborn wasn't napping long enough or napping too long, was she meeting her correct milestones? Where did she fall on the growth chart? Would she be ready for kindergarten? Would she have friends in school? On and on and on. I wish I could go back to that younger version of me and tell her that it will be okay. The stuff we tend to worry ourselves about when our children are growing often times is quite trivial. I'm not suggesting that milestones, academics and friends aren't important but when you look at the big picture of life and step away from the "same game" that is when you get to see your children for who they are. Being a Mom to three special needs children I can honestly tell you that it is because of them that I am learning the secret to a happy life. I'm not suggesting that I wasn't happy prior to life with special needs BUT God has aligned our family to see the beauty of each day. When doctors can't promise what the next step will be and the future isn't crystal clear; I can say with complete certainty that today matters and tomorrow is a gift. As I put the faded 20 year old overalls on Evelyn I smiled thinking she's over twice the age that Hattie was when she wore them. These little overalls are covering a very complex heart that 20 years ago would have brought me to my knees. The overalls are now being worn by a little girl who isn't meeting any of the milestones of a 34 month old. She isn't eating any solid food. She might not even enter kindergarten with peers her own age BUT you know what? It's beautiful. She's beautiful. She has this ability slow our family down. She even has that effect on those who have now met her in person and others who have just gotten to know her through her story. Evelyn is a walking example of the "golden rule", ( do unto others as you would have them do unto you). Evelyn's only mission in life right now is to completely love those who love her back. Simple enough. She isn't concerned with charts, milestones, survival rates etc.. She only cares how well you love. Evelyn is hitting her own milestones; milestones that a medical team had concerns we would never see. Oh baby do I love it when this little 24 lbs. warrior proves people wrong! So for Evelyn's sake, stop worrying about tomorrow and enjoy today. To all those who parent children with special needs please remember this... God sees them and he sees you. There is a reason why the name "special" is attached to their need. We as parents get to sit front row and center to seeing what God is doing in their life and the lives of those who come into contact with them. I have met some of the most beautiful families and have been introduced to some of the most intelligent doctors and nurses since we said yes to special needs. I've learned more about myself as a parent. I've realized that it's okay to speak up. Years ago confrontation was not my game at all. Today I would like to think that my kids know that I speak up for inclusion, fairness and most importantly kindness. All of this I believe is due to three little heart warriors joining our family. Dear younger me, if I could tell you one thing 20 years ago it would be this... you will be okay. You will have a house messier than you probably imagined, laundry higher that you ever thought possible and more doctor appointments than you ever expected BUT you will also fill your house with more kids than you ever imagined, love your husband more than the day you met and you will cherish every day of being a parent. Younger me, you will survive the tantrums, the sleepless nights, the first dates, the break ups, the graduations. You will survive it all because your little crew known as your children will actually be carrying you in life. Dear younger me, enjoy it all. Savor it. Be grateful and look your children in the eyes one by one and thank them for the gift of them. I encourage you to dig up something from the past that reminds you of your path into parenthood. Our paths are all different. They all are messy at times but we have the opportunity to learn from them. Thanks to these faded little overalls I was able to learn a valuable lesson today. I think it's fair to say that I can finally thank myself for being a saver at heart.
1 Comment
Heather Purcell
12/1/2019 07:54:31 pm
There needs to be a "super duper love it" button! I love your idea of keeping a box of their special things to open when they turn 18! I wish I could go back in time and do the same!
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
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