"Upsetting the "normal" while creating the beautiful." Annette Kruschek |
I've only watched a tightrope walker once in my lifetime. My palms sweat and my stomach was in knots. I was so fearful that with one slip of his steady feet he would surely fall.
Personally, it's been nine months of tightrope walking. The tightrope symbolizing life and the fall proving immediate death. My Mom gingerly got on the tightrope this past July, my brother began his walk on the rope in November and then Evelyn began her journey on the tightrope in December. All three walked the fine line of life and death. My Mother and brother walked as far as they could before the rope became too difficult. Evelyn slipped, she began to fall but eventually was placed back on the tightrope to continue her journey. I am here to tell you that this tightrope while it used to be SO scary has taught me SO much. I've realized the biggest and most wonderful lesson... "the fall". You see, the fall doesn't mean immediate death. It means eternal LIFE. The picture above is a reminder that these two, while they may not physically be present in my life, they are showing up in ways that only God can explain. Death teaches you something VERY quickly. Here is what I have learned over the past months of tightrope walking with death... This life is temporary. We are all "terminal". We cannot take our "things" with us once we "fall" from our tightrope. We have a purpose while living on this earth. We are all created uniquely for that purpose. My Mom and Dad both passed away in my home. I was present when their earthly bodies were taken out of my house and respectfully taken to a funeral home. Guess what? Did my Dad get to take his favorite peach pants? Did my Mom get to grab her puzzles, lipstick and rosaries on her way out the door? Nope. When my brother passed he didn't get to grab his comfortable recliner or special family photos. Life isn't about "things". Life is about people. Life is about each second between each minute. Life to me is about constantly asking God what he is trying to teach me in my trials. He puts trials in our lives as teachable moments. Our family has experienced more teachable moments in this last year. I have never relied more on God than I have this past year BUT I have never "lived" as much as I have in this past year. Dan and I signed paperwork prior to Evelyn's surgery that had verbiage in it suggesting that the tightrope may not be sturdy enough during Evelyn's walk. In the moment of signing that piece of paper I looked at my husband's hand; while griping the pen his signature was deliberate, steadfast and focused. We both took a deep breath. Pressed on. We looked at our little warrior in the face and prayed, knowing God's will would be done. Rewind only nine days prior and I found myself looking at the face of my brother, knowing it would be the last time I would see his earthly body. I didn't have a pen, nor was I signing paperwork but I did have my words. I was able to deliberately and steadfastly tell him things I had never shared with him before. Rewind five months prior to my brother and I found myself in the exact same position. No pen in hand. No paperwork to sign but certain death was expected for my Mom. This time I was gifted; absolutely gifted the beautiful opportunity to watch God escort her to her final resting place. ETERNAL life! It's like being a mad scientist mixing abundant happiness with sadness. Life with death. A mixture of beauty and promises. God continues to remind me on a daily basis how temporary life truly is. I believe he is telling me to shout it from the rooftops to everyone and anyone who will listen. I'm shouting to you all to follow your passion, your God given and God ordained talent. You might be saying, "how will I know if God really wants me to do something?" My answer would be, is it something God supports? Is it something that benefits God's purpose? Will it bring glory and attention to God? If you say yes then step out. Listen to him whisper. It might be quiet at first but after time you may continue to feel a nudge or even a shout. God is smart. He doesn't like to give up. He hasn't given up on me. In fact he continues to whisper and nudge and then I say, "really, haven't I listened enough?" He grabs your attention and once he has it he continues to lead you. My two oldest children have heard God speak to them. It's a beautiful thing when you can see God moving in your children. How do I know that he is speaking to them? Doors continue to open and they faithfully and bravely walk through them without a promise as to what exactly is on the other side of that door. I see them hungry for God's purpose in their lives. I see them facing questions and opinions of the "naysayers" and I see that familiar focused, deliberate and steadfast hand reach for the pen and sign up for God's calling. My two oldest children have separately and independently agreed to let God take them out of their comfort zone and travel abroad. They will be traveling in two different directions at two different times. One will be leaving for Israel next month to volunteer her time in a hospital known for healing hearts of children from different countries while the other will be leaving for Iceland in October. He will be digging into the scripture for three months then head to do missionary work in a different country in desperate need of hearing the love of God while using his talent of photography. Both of my kids have encountered people and their comments such as, "how can you afford to take off the summer and volunteer your time without earning money?" Another asked my son, "Why would you take off a year of school to volunteer your time that doesn't promise you a career?" THIS is when you KNOW it's God's will... it's about people and not "things". An invest in what is eternal. I can't think of a better investment in life than that of a person... it has the biggest payoffs and if invested properly it will grow exponentially! Seeing your children extend their hand and hearts to those seemingly forgotten; rather than reaching for a paycheck is the most rewarding part of being a parent. I have the tightrope to thank. The tightrope is God. He is asking you to walk a line that is scary and seemingly dangerous BUT promising if you fall he will be there FOREVER. Get busy walking the tightrope. It's time to live for people and not things. My Dad's peach pants, while they made a statement they didn't change anyone's life for the better, (sorry Dad). It's time to throw the things aside and live... authentically live for people! The peach pants, puzzles, lipstick, rosaries, recliners and family photos are already forgotten. The tightrope is calling your name... climb up on it and begin LIVING for someone today, not tomorrow or next week but today!
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AuthorI am a proud Mother to eight children and a wife to my very best friend. I work hard, play hard and love until it hurts. Archives
January 2023
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